Plot: The Doctor, a young investigator and Judoon Commander
become embroiled in the machinations at New Jupiter…
Mockney Dude: I’m not going to lie to you…you’re not going
to get the most dense characterisation of the Doctor in a Colin Brake novel.
You’re just not. Saying that he manages to write a fair intimation of the
character as seen on TV with lots of quirks and ticks that match David
Tennant’s portrayal. Apparently his eccentricity accentuates his natural goods
(I wouldn’t argue with the last bit). It must be an NSA if the Doctor gets
saddled with teenage sidekick but lets be honest he’s a big kid himself so he
works on their level! He deals in crisis management without the management. He
loves a good mystery and he loves four even more. A Judoon companion? Who would
have thought that could ever have been as effective as it is here? I think it’s
a great idea and I’m willing to bet that a lot less people would be willing to
point the finger at the Doctor on his travels if he was backed up by a
grunting, leather clad rhinoceros! I love the way he provides such violent
distractions while the Doctor gets up to no good in the background. The Doctor
is easy to like a fits in anywhere. There’s something secretive, lonely and
grief stricken and lonely about him for all he tries to cover it with smiles
and smart alec comments. The Doctor finds it easy to tar all of one species
with the same brush despite the fact that he is always meeting the exception to
the rule. Trustworthy and full of honour. He can convince you that you have had
a conversation and come to a decision when he has done all of the talking!
Beneath his energy and relentless enthusiasm there is a sadness and bitterness.
With a book as predictable as this it is a relief that at least the Doctor is
privy to each twist and turn because I couldn’t bear it if he was this
stupid. The Doctor had found good company on New Jupiter and the TARDIS feels
so empty without a companion. He has had the feeling for some time that change
was coming, something lurking in his near future. Something big, terrible and
inevitable…
Great Ideas: The Judoon are thorough but far from gentle and their
sledgehammer tactics are a cause for much drama (leaving hull breach in a ship
after cutting into it for access) and humour (the Commander crashing through a
door rather than walking through it!). They always get their man but its
usually at a pretty high price. 2487 and the human race is established amongst
the stars, colonies scattered about and hyperspace making travel over
incredibly long distances commonplace and swift. The King of Elvis spaceport is
right next to hyperspace nexus point on an otherwise uninviting world and has
grown from an automated fuel dump to sprawling city state with a permanent
population. It’s a place of contrasts; of wealth and glamour, grime and crime.
This is a fantastic (and authentic) Doctor Who setting with visits to casinos,
grimy Downtown cityscapes and mafia style organisations. It makes you ponder
wistfully. what this could have been if it hadn’t been quite so castrated by
the author and the tone of the series. It’s a spaceport of humans, aliens,
robots and androids and if you squint hard enough you can see Roger Langridge
going to town with his depiction of it! I loved the Courier exploding because I
genuinely did not think the book would ever go that far! Nikki might not be the
most sophisticated character in town (and her character spec is a barely
concealed reworking of Veronica Mars and Buffy the Vampire Slayer mixing
private investigations with her father with martial arts) but she proves to be
resourceful and quite engaging by the novels close especially in her dealings with
the hilarious Judoon Commander. Thank goodness she appeared in a Colin Brake
novel because I could only imagine how she would have fared in the hands of
Terrance Dicks (casual rape, probably), Mick Lewis (eaten) or Lawrence Miles
(deconstructed and turn out to be the Time Lord weapon that was needed to break
the deadlock seal on the Time War). Is this the first time the TARDIS has been
described as lost luggage? The Invisible Assassin is a virus coded to kill the
Widow – I never saw that one coming! 100 bombs are due to go off at Terminal 13
which might sound like an act of desperation to inject some tension on the
authors part but it really works, especially after one goes off and kills three
Judoon and then another goes off almost immediately afterwards. It feels (for
the first time in the book) that anything could happen. After everything
being so obvious for so long there are a number of great moments when all the
secrets are out in the open. I really thought there was going to be a touching
reconciliation between Uncle and Hope (its that sort of book) but instead he
dies in the most ironic of fashions (killed by the virus that he unknowingly
sent after his daughter) and slips away with the Doctor pointing out the error
of his ways and thinking his daughter must have hated him. Redemption
simply isn’t an option. For once the Doctor’s ‘I’m so sorry’ feels heartfelt
and not just a catchphrase. Salter’s involvement is well hidden beneath the
more obvious twists and he makes a number of salient points about how it is
‘always about money’ and that if the Doctor is above such things then ‘the rest
of us live in the real world.’ It might be another insurance scam but it
does have some bite. Hope also dies off-screen (so to speak) and unmourned.
Embarrassing Bits: The tone of this novel is more akin to
the adventures of the Famous Five than Doctor Who at times especially when we
open with the case of the Invisible Assassin on the Spaceship Tintin! New
Memphis sounds quirky but I’m starting to wonder if there’s a New Everything in
the future. There is a massively unsubtle parody of the Heathrow Terminal Five
crisis but at least it is part of the plot and not just a tasteless gag. Brake
has this annoying habit of introducing characters and settings and describing absolutely
everything about them in the first couple of paragraphs before they
speak/anything happens. We literally learn nothing more about them than what is
fed to us in that primary description. I understand that I am not the target
audience for these books but there is such a thing as talking down to children
and there are plenty of extremely engaging kids books out there that don’t
patronise them in this fashion (there are plenty of NSAs that don’t do it too
as exemplified by most of the novels since this was published). The Jupiter
Investigation Agency reminded me strongly of The 3 Investigators novels I used
to read as a little boy. If anybody hadn’t figured out that Hope was the Widow
and Nikki’s father was Moret then I would seriously question whether you should
be reading novels at all. I’ve never known Crime Lords that are so easy to make
an appointment with! Don’t they have underhanded Empires to run? There’s plenty
of references to deadlock seals, kronkburgers and psychic paper just in case we
didn’t know what era we are in! Frustratingly Brake has his characters
contradict themselves from paragraph to paragraph – its especially evident when
Uncle wishes he could have the same working relationship with his daughter that
Nikki has with her father than then exclaims that he wants her to have nothing
to do with his sordid business.
Funny Bits:
- ‘At least something works around here…’ – black humour as the Courier spontaneously combusts and the sprinkler system manages to cool things down!
- One character ponders how the Doctor could talk so fast and for so long and say nothing!
- ‘Service is swift. Thank you’ says the Judoon Commander to a taxi driver after his horns have torn through his roof!
- In a laugh out loud moment the Commander cracks open a wall with his massive horn to rescue Nikki! He’s a really useful guy to have around!
- ‘Why is everything deadlock sealed these days?’ Good point!
- I chuckle at the observation that the bombs might have made less damage than the Judoon seeking them out.
- It’s a pat ending for sure but I was laughing my head off at the thought of the Commander joining the Jupiter Detective Agency! Can you imagine that beast going undercover?
Result: I just don’t know how to sum up my reaction to
Judgement of the Judoon which has many fine elements but is constantly held back by
the childish writing voice of the author that makes any attempts drama fall
flat. If you thought that Terrance Dicks spelt things out (but he does it in
all the best ways) then you haven’t seen anything! I don’t care if the target
audience is an intelligent 12 year old…any kid worth their salt is not going to
be stumped by this imminently guessable plot with every twist signposted. You
get the feeling that there is a much darker, sleazier novel to be told in this
genuinely great location. Instead what we get is something more akin to
a PG13 James Bond crossed with Enid Blyton with a sprinkling of Scooby Doo (it
was Uncles daughter all along!)! Saying all that Colin Brake has one very
special weapon that he deploys to his full advantage. The Judoon Commander is a
fabulous character and lifts the book every time he appears with his honking
laughter and sledgehammer approach to everything. I wanted him to skip in the
TARDIS at the end with the Doctor. After 200 odd pages of light prose and
retarded plotting the book pulls off a coup in the conclusion with a handful of
dark and exciting moments. I feel as if I should be harder on this novel but it
does try and aim high even though it is restricted by the writing voice and the
tone of the book range. Brake’s books are improving successively but that
doesn’t mean this is anything to shout home about: 6/10
No comments:
Post a Comment